| [ Return | Entire Thread | Last 50 | First 100 ] |
| Steal MY Bike, Will You? (7) | |
| 1 |
Bob Dylan : Sat Aug 18 02:11:17 PDT 2007
did post this in a blog, but as I am new here, I don't really know how to use it, LOL. Anyways, about the bike thefts... I saw on Fox News last night a very timely story about the rise in bike thefts in our area and decided to write about my own recent bike theft experience. My beloved Schwinn Jaguar was stolen from me 2 weeks ago by a lowly criminal buttwipe, and I was not going to take that lying down. Here's my chronology of the events leading to the capture of the buttwipe: 1. 7:00 p.m. July 25. I park my bike outside of Color Me Mine pottery studio in downtown Silver Spring. I walk 8 feet inside the store, hand something to a friend and turn around to walk out. One of the young ladies who works in the store says "Someone just rode off on your bike!" I walk outside, and there is a bike lying on the ground. I assume someone just knocked my bike over, so I go to pick it up, and realize it is not my bike. The buttwipe had stolen ANOTHER bike, and swiped it for mine. Witnesses identified the buttwipe thief as "a white kid in a red shirt." 2. I call the police, who come to take a report. Nothing they could do, of course, I mean, it's only a BIKE, right? Besides, while they were there taking the report for my bike, another report came in on their radios about a woman being abducted or pushed from a car. My bike pales in comparison to that, even to me. 3. I go home, and send out an email to our neighborhood listserv, asking that if anyone saw someone riding around town on my bike, to please let me know. My bike is really distinctive, a geek bike, not a city bike - it's a beach cruiser with a big geeky basket in the front, OK? 4. One of my neighbors replies to my email suggesting that I look on Craigslist, telling me that he had been looking for a bike recently and saw many ads for other stolen bikes. I took a look around and ended up placing my own ad on Craigslist, detailing my stolen bike, and asking that if anyone saw one listed for sale on Craigslist, that they please let me know, and I offered a reward. 5. At MIDNIGHT that night, someone called to tell me that he haad (a women's) Schwinn Jaguar that he had been planning to list for sale on Craigslist, but that he had decided not to because he didn't want people to think that it was my stolen bike. I did ask him what a guy (he sounded like a gangsta rapper - affected, of course) was doing with a women's geeky Schwinn Jaguar. He didn't answer me, but he generously offered to sell me his "if I didn't get my bike back". How very, very big of him. 6. At 4:48 the next morning, magically, a Scwhinn Jaguar was listed for sale on Craigslist. Funny, but the phone number in the ad was the same one on my caller ID. Calls from Craigslist posters began coming in at 6:00 a.m., alerting me to the listing, and by the time I checked my email at around 2:00, there were nearly 100 emails from people sending me the listing, many of them saying some version of "I hope you catch the low-down dirty BLEEP". 7. I placed another ad on Craigslist with detailed pictures of my bike, telling people that if they bought the Schwinn Jaguar that was listed for sale, that they were receiving stolen property. I KNOW the buttwipe saw my ads. 8. During the day, all day the day after the theft of my bike, I had people call inquiring about the bike. Black, white, young, old- all of them getting a different story. The buttwipe claimed that the bike was "unavailable" to anyone who sounded white. Finally, one coworker called and spoke to the little pretend thug on his level. She claimed to be VERY in purchasing the bike, offered to meet him THAT NIGHT and pay cash. I think she was too eager and spoked him, because the bike suddenly became "unavailable" even though he was all prepared to sell it to her 5 minutes before. She said ok and hung up. 9. PT (Pretend Thug) actually called her BACK and said that he didn't have that particular bike available, but that he had OTHER bikes, and cell phones, and laptops, and computers and game systems, and that he "could get whatever she wanted if the price was right." Hmmmm. REALLY now? 10. That REALLY pissed me off. I went home and got to work. I googled his email address, which led me to other Craigslist listings for various (stolen, I'm sure), along with this precious little ditty: www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcm05mo8zcw. Then I checked his cell phone number, it's registered in Waldorf, MD. Then I reverse-address-checked the phone number he had listed, which netted me his name and address, and then I printed out Mapquest directions to his house. I gave all of this to the police, but I know they didn't think that was my bike. They didn't share my sense of urgency. I KNEW that was my bike, that this little hole had stolen it, and I needed them to go get it. There were DC/MD jurisdictional issues, and they couldn't move very fast. I called DC 4D to let them know that there was a fencing operation working out of their district. The two different people I called on two separate occasions were completely uninterested. 11. Eventually the police did listen to me, and "arrested" the buttwipe. I say "arrested" because since he is a minor, they "arrested him on paper" which basically amounts to a citation. I was told he would have to go to court and that I would be subpoenaed to appear. I was told by some that he would be ordered to pay restitution, told by others that he (and apparently his 2 buttwipe acomplices) would get a "slap on the wrist". Some of them have apparenlty been arrested for shoplifting, 12. I did not get my bike back...the buttwipe ditched it. But OH, do I have plans for the low down dirty thief paying restitution and my plans do NOT involve waiting to see what a juvenile court judge is going to decide. I want the value of my bike ($250), my bike basket ($40), my bike lock ($30), and $20 to reimburse me for the cost of the new constuction grade lock that I had to purchase since the buttwipe stole my garage lock key (which was in my basket) when he took my bike from me. Maybe even some pain and suffering...depends on how I feel when I file the lawsuit. I'm not crazy, I KNOW it's just a bike. But my house was robbed in May and I am not thouroughly convinced that the buttwipe and his merry band of thieves are not responsible for the rash of house robberies in my neighborhood. We shall see...if the robberies in my neighborhood slow down while the buttwipes are being watched by the police, I think that is a VERY TELLING IMPLICATION. Know what I mean, Verne? You may now return to your regularly scheduled programs. |
| 2 |
Cameron Kemp : Sat Aug 18 17:44:27 PDT 2007 /r/ tl;dr summary |
| 3 |
anonymouse : Mon Aug 20 09:32:20 PDT 2007 What a faggot. come one. who rides bikes except anime characters. |
| 4 |
Bob Dole : Mon Aug 20 21:21:56 PDT 2007 >>3 black people ride bikes |
| 5 |
Peggy Hill : Tue Aug 21 02:58:27 PDT 2007 >>4 only to get away from the police. or to go to the store to buy their niggerports. |
| 6 |
Dylan Peizer Oppenhiem : Tue Aug 21 23:16:11 PDT 2007 >>5 Peggy rides bikes |
| 7 |
Anonymous! : Wed Sep 5 19:17:04 PDT 2007 test |
| 8 | Entire Thread Last 50 Posts First 100 Posts Top |
[ /salad/ ]
- saladchan + shiichan + yotsuba -